15 years ago, if I said you could turn on your new Nintendo console and, through what would no doubt be nothing short of magic, you could download such hit videogames like Mega Turrican and Fantasy Zone for 8 and 5 dollars respectively, what would you say? Would you call me a witch and demand I either be dunked in freezing water or, classically, burned at a stake? Or would your head explode from the very idea of downloading games to your home console through the magic of the world wide internet?
“My God,” you’d think. “Such wonders befuddle my primitive brain and confound my senses!”
“I know,” I’d say.
“You mean, every week, Nintendo puts up two more games for me to down…load?”
“You bet!”
“So, I can go play the awesome Mega Turrican and Fantasy Zone right now?!”
“Dear sweet Christ, yes.”
If you think of this week’s update in terms of how you’d react 15 years ago, things don’t seem so bad, huh?
Not to be outdone by their own announcement of Sam and Max: Season 1, Telltale games has gone and done it again, announcing the first of a new episodic series to be distributed via Nintendo’s WiiWare service based on the Homestar Runner character Strongbad. A point and click adventure, Strongbad’s Cool Game for Attractive People will be the first episodic series made for the service. The first installment will be made available in June and new episodes will follow on a monthly schedule.
Pricing and release dates were not given. The games will also be made available for the PC, where they will be bundled together and sold as a season like Sam and Max. Still looking for more information? Well the video below will not give you that:
Ikaruga, the bullet hell shooter to end all bullet hell shooters, has finally hit the Xbox Live Arcade. Originally released on the Dreamcast, then ported to the Gamecube, the game is infamous for its crushing difficulty. Here is what’s new to the downloadable version: 720p visuals, online co-op, replay video saving, and leaderboards. The game costs 800 points, or $10 IRL money, and is worth every penny.
The first person to rotate their 52″ plasma screen for the TATE mode wins the title of “Undisputed King of Gaming.”
For the obsessive compulsive in your life, Nintendo is set to release a new Wii-white Gamecube controller to match your latest Nintendo console and hopefully quell the maddening voices shouting from the direction of your black/silver/orange/purple Gamecube controllers.
Like so many awesome Nintendo things, this one has only been announced for Japan so far. It will see its release later this month and cost 2,000 Yen, or roughly $20. Along with the new paint job, the controller will also feature a longer cord of nearly 10 ft, doubling the length of previous Gamecube controllers.
Unlike just about every other videogame blog out there, I have no dedication to quantity. The sweatshop like slave driving of the blogosphere is something that I personally detest, as often times useless or otherwise inconsequential “news” gets posted just for the sake of fulfilling your quota. That’s why I’ve resigned myself to the N64 fanboy mantra of quality over quantity. I swear, once I get the “quality” aspect down, this blog is gonna blow up big!
Note to prospective employers: I will gladly sell out my punk rock ethos and churn out whatever pablum you require of me.
Anyway, one of the tricks of blogging is to essentially act as the audience’s RSS reader. So, for example, when Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw posts another of his world famous Zero Punctuation videos, you do a quick post informing your audience that he has done so. Despite the fact that your readers could have just as easily subscribed to Yahtzee’s RSS feed or have gotten themselves into the habit of checking the website every Wednesday, where a new video is put up like the rhythmic clockwork of a granola munching hippy’s lower intestine, you make your post with maybe three or four additional sentences and call it a job well done. You win, Yahtzee wins, and I die a little inside.
Now, at the cost of being painfully hypocritical, this week’s Zero Punctuation review is on No More Heroes, a game that I consider one of the Wii’s best. While not without its flaws, the game is easily one of the most unique and fun experiences you can have this generation. So, if for some god unknown reason you haven’t picked the game up, Amazon is currently selling the game for the rock-bottom price of $33.99 including shipping. You have very few legitimate excuses at this point. If you somehow need further convincing, why not check out Zero Punctuation’s review, embedded below for your viewing convenience?
Unless Zero Punctuation does something similarly poignant, I will assume you have successfully been made aware of Yahtzee’s existence.
Instead of trying to flesh out little tidbits of information into sprawling tomes, let’s just cut to the chase. Here are some stories that are making the rounds on these here tubes:
(1) - Gamesradar has taken a break from compiling lists of the biggest breasted videogame heroins and has this time compiled a list of amazing lost levels of classic and modern videogames. The lost Mario 3 levels are particularly interesting and thanks to the joys of modern emulation, if you are a filthy law breaking criminal unfit for even the darkest, dankest corners of the underworld, you can enjoy them right now! [via GoNintendo]
(2) - Rumor Alert: Gamepro is postulating that, thanks to a recent job posting, the developers behind the critically acclaimed Bioshock may be looking to bring the next installment in the series to both the Playstation 3 and the Nintendo Wii. Now, the Playstation 3 makes some sense, but the Wii? They’d have to do some serious work to get everything up and running properly. The original Bioshock ran off a modified Unreal 2.5 engine, something that theoretically could run on the Wii, so it isn’t too huge of a leap. However, if you’re a betting man: don’t bet any amount of money, theoretical or not, on Bioshock coming to the Wii. Do not do it!
(3) - The Exploding Barrel, a site whose namesake is derived from the generic action/shooter device of sprinkling barrels on the verge of explosion about a level, has a round up of generic looking knock-off consoles. Of note: the PolyStation, a cartridge accepting Playstation 1 knock-off. [via GoNintendo]
(4) -Gamepolitics is asking who you think the biggest political hypocrite is. Up for consideration: Boston Mayor Tom Menino, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gov. Kathleen Sebelius (of Kansas), Gov. Eliot Spitzer (of various Brothels and, I’m told, New York), and Keith Vaz (British Labour MP). My vote goes to Tom Menino, but, you know, I’m biased.
After a full year of speculation, and repeated half-denials, Telltale Games has finally confirmed that its formerly PC-exclusive game, Sam and Max: Season 1, will be hitting Nintendo’s Wii sometime this fall. While the game will not have the luxury of being the first point-and-click adventure-style game available, that honor is reserved for that Agatha Christie game, it will most certainly be the best one available.
The game, which is now on its “Second Season,” is an episodic point-and-click adventure series following the exploits of the titular Sam and Max. The episodes are eventually collected into volumes at the end of each season and are available for download through Telltale’s website and Turner’s GameTap service. The Wii version will mark the first console release for the game.
A price or specific release date were not given. However, the developer is expected to reveal more about their upcoming WiiWare title next week, so these questions could potentially get answered sooner than later.
Rock Band is coming to the Wii, albeit as a port from the PS2 version without any attempt at taking advantage of the Wii’s unique features or even wireless instruments. There will be no downloadable content, no online play, and, to complete the lovely bucket-of-suck package, will cost the same as the Xbox 360 and PS3 version.
However, EA/MTV/Harmonix, if you do exactly what is seen above to the Wii’s drum peripheral, I will buy your quick cash-in on day one. If you follow suit and add similar graphics to the guitar and microphone, I will break into the store early and leave not only the MSRP, but a little something extra for your troubles. I will do this, EA/MTV/Harmonix. I promise.
For those that fell asleep during the entirety of eighth grade English, didn’t pay attention during High School, and couldn’t possibly care any less about the humanities right now: here is one of the few situations where some knowledge of the English language can come in handy. Today’s lesson is on foreshadowing, a literary device that allows the author to hint future plot developments early in a story. For example, here is what I said about Sonic Unleasheda few weeks ago:
Suffice to say, things [are] looking really good. Of course, if you’re a Sega fan, you’ve probably learned by now to temper any excitement you feel when the company announces something; there is usually always a rub.
… see the topmost image above? The one with Sonic and some thing standing behind him? Well, that thing standing behind Sonic the Hedgehog is apparently Sonic the Hedgehog. Yes, too scared to just release a normal Sonic game with typical Sonic mechanics, Sega has yet again added a special gimmick for this outing: Sonic transforms into a werewolf! To perform melee attacks, no less!
Bravo Sega. You’re like the psycho ex-girlfriend you try and keep a friendly relationship with. For the most part, everything goes well and you can have fun together. But every once and a while they quickly and abruptly remind you why you decided to stop dating them in the first place.
Now, what I was doing there was setting up the premise that, despite looking good right now, Sonic Unleashed will most likely disappoint. Why will it disappoint? The Werewolf mechanic, right, you’re catching on. Now, watch the Sonic Unleashed debut trailer:
Do you see what I’m getting at? This example is great because not only do my previous comments, coupled with the video, serve as a form of foreshadowing, but the video itself is a form of foreshadowing! That werwolf’d Sonic claw trying to smash the golden ring establishes, early on in “the story,” that the melee-combat game mechanic will be trying to further destroy the Sonic series.
Thanks Sega, you’ve reaffirmed my faith in English studies.
Finally matching the feature set of the Wii, Xbox 360, and the PS3, the NES is getting a brand new game which will include its own special brand of downloadable content. Based on a freeware Mac game, Glider will take advantage of a special device to add additional levels. While some may be scared away by this bundle’s price tag ($42 for the game cartridge and $70 for the download device), those that have held on to their NES waiting to see how this whole “videogame” thing will pan out must certainly be jumping for joy.
The CopyNES, the aforementioned special device, looks like a very interesting piece of kit in and of itself. Once installed into an NES, the device will allow you to dump your NES games to your computer, offering you Americans the only legal way to obtain ROM images. However much that is worth is for you to decide.
Now, if we can just get Glider to support achievements and online co-op, we’ll be set!
15 years ago, if I said you could turn on your new Nintendo console and, through what would no doubt be nothing short of magic, you could download such hit videogames like Mega Turrican and Fantasy Zone for 8 and 5 dollars respectively, what would you say? Would you call me a witch and demand I either be dunked in freezing water or, classically, burned at a stake? Or would your head explode from the very idea of downloading games to your home console through the magic of the world wide internet?
